So, the washing machine has been running non-stop ever since the corona’s been flying around and it finally gave up the ghost. I put in a load and went for a jog only to come home and find water all over the floor. Of course, I had to do another load because A) I had another load to do and b) I didn’t exactly know where the leak was since it had stopped before I returned. I had twice the mess when finished but all the laundry was done for the week. I called Kendra to tell her the problem and she said it was certainly the washer as it came with the place and was no doubt just finished. So,she ordered another one from Lowes to be delivered the next week. It was a more expensive washer, but it was what they had in stock and could deliver in a shorter time. Kendra gives them my phone number, the condo landline number, to coordinate the delivery details. Fine.
A week later, the day before the delivery, I get a robocall from Lowes on the condo landline saying the deliver will be “tomorrow between 2:30 and 6:30 pm.” Fine. So the next day I’m gone in the morning because the delivery wasn’t scheduled until the afternoon. At noon I come home to a message on the landline (that I didn’t get because I wasn’t home) that says they were already here and I wasn’t so they continued on their way. I called the number they left and it was some automated service line and eventually after pushing what seemed like an endless number of buttons connected me to a person who assured me they would come back if they didn’t come within the agreed upon timeline. Fine. Later that afternoon I get a call from the delivery guys who seem irritated that I wasn’t there before and were on their way back. When they show up they seem very curt with me and not saying much. They seem irritated. I point to where the old washer is that they are supposed to take and put the new washer in its place. I go in the other room so as not to disturb them as they bring the washer up 17 stairs to the second floor. Finally they push a clipboard in my face and tell me where to sign. I ask,
Me: “is the new washer installed…..?
Delivery guy: “No its not. You don’t have the ACCESSORIES.”
Me: (inside myself: What you talking bout Willis?”) outside: “So you’re dropping off a washer I can’t use?”
Delivery guy: “They should have told you that at the store. Everything on this order is messed up. It says we are supposed to deliver a washer and pick up a stove and the delivery time is messed up too. You’ll just have to call the store and order the accessories and have some one come out to install them”
Now you would think all the years I’ve been studying mindfulness, Zen meditation, deep breathing and pacifism would come in handy here. Nope. None of it worth a crap. Somebody gonna die today. I don’t know why I signed for it, but I did. When they were gone I called Kendra and related the fiasco. Keep in mind Kendra and I have not done laundry in a week so I’m down to second string pair of swimming trunks for clean laundry. I figured something like this would happen though so I took the next couple days off work just in case. Kendra suggested I call Lowes to complain which I did. I relate the fiasco to a service rep and she seems like she is reading a customer service script, completely void of any empathy or emotional involvement in my situation.
Customer service rep: “I’m sorry your experience was unsatisfactory. At lowes we try to please. Would you like to speak to a manager?”
Me: (inside myself: “Lady, if I got to come in there….”) Outside: “Yes, and then I guess put me through to whoever deals in ACCESSORIES” because apparently I need that too”.
She puts me through to another phone that rings about 20 times before I hear a click followed by dial tone. I swear, somebody gonna die today.
I slam the phone down – one of the few perks of still having a landline. And then I call Kendra to relate the experience. She asked me, “did it come with a manual?”
One of those things that sounds obvious once someone says it, but not until.
Me: “No, its just the machine with the invoice taped to the lid…wait….maybe its inside.”
I lift the lid and there staring me in the face is a pamphlet titled “manual” and a plastic bag filled with what I can only assume are…..ACCESSORIES?
Holy crap! We are back in business!
But not out of the woods yet. I turn to the “installment” section of the manual. The first thing it says makes my heart sink back to where it was…”The tools you will need…” There is a 99% chance that if they are not on a swiss army knife, I don’t have them. But, turns out all I need are plyers. The rubber washers it said were also not included were already on the old inlet hose Mike had installed years earlier (Thanks Mike). And thanks to a little youtube instructional video Kendra sent, I was able to install it, I thought.
When all was finished, I decided to try a sample load of laundry. Now, this is supposedly a newfangled complicated machine with a bunch of this “smart” technology BS. I push the start button and I get a green light. That’s all. It sounds like a Prius. Silence. When you turned the other washer on, you knew that sucker was ON!. Because the neighbors complained and the windows rattled. Not this one. I’m ABSOLUTELY convinced I screwed something up or Lowes sent us a busted machine. Before pushing it off the second floor porch, I call Kendra and she says its supposed to be that way and to just give it some time. There is also no button on it, like the older one had, to say how much water you want to use. Kendra says it doesn’t need that button because it knows automatically how much water to use. Well, no shit – the things the kids come up with these days. I did a couple loads laundry and there is no water on the floor and all seems well. Well, I’ll be damned.
Next day….
I notice in the morning there is some water on the kitchen floor. Not a lot – maybe I spilled some when I was making tea but, I thought, that would be a lot for tea and a lot not to remember. Whatever, it was a stressful day, and I wasn’t’ thinking straight. Besides, the water is not coming from the laundry room so its good. Then around lunchtime I saw a puddle of water in the kitchen again….now it dawns on me to look under the kitchen sink. There is about two inches of water coming from what looks like the disposal with the electrical cords running through the water.
Somehow, I screwed up the washer installment so bad I broke the kitchen sink in the other room. Shit!
I call Kendra. Again. To tell her my plan which is to email the other members of our condo association and ask who they would recommend as a plumber. This is not the best plan. The other condo members are about as handy as I am — we have 3 lawyers, one police detective, one accountant and a retired couple that I’m not sure what they did but it wasn’t plumbing. Not one of us could cut the grass if our life depended on it. Kendra says she will call the local ace hardware to see who they recommend locally. But first she asked if I put a bucket under the disposal to stop the leaking. Again, something that seems obvious once somebody says it. So I put the bucket underneath. Kendra calls back with the name of a plumber. Ace hardware guy says they get that question all the time.
All is well enough for now. Plumber comes tomorrow.
Say a prayer.
ryanwriting 